Amusings: An Imminent Sonic Destruction Studio Blog
Step right up and feast your eyes on what the world REALLY NEEDS! YES! That’s right! A blog chronicling the thoughts of a largely unknown progressive metal keyboardist! The clouds part, rays of light shine down on several keyboards and a Macbook while the haunting strains of a mellotrön_ choir swell…
Oh, the glory. It’s enough to make you a little bit sick, isn’t it? You know, in a good way. All right, enough pomp and whatnot. Time for introductions. I’m Pete from Imminent Sonic Destruction (ISD from here on in, to save my precious, precious keyboarding fingers from typing excessively and therefore wearing them out. Shit. I guess I didn’t think this parenthetical aside out very thoroughly…) For some reason the introductions part always reminds me of Bad News. Am I the only one? “My name is Vim Fuegoooo…” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here:
Remember the Young Ones? No? Well, fine. Really, that’s cool. I mean, it’s NOT cool, at all, but I’ll let it slide since we just met. You get one freebie, assholes.
Sorry about the assholes thing. I suppose at this point, you’ve either given up and gone to read the latest Blabbermouth article with your teeny tiny attention span, (in which case I hated you anyway, and what are you doing listening to prog in the first place with no attention span), OR you’re wondering what the hell is going on here. So I’ll tell you. I’m starting a blog. Why? Because everyone in every version of reality has one, and mine is better than 99% of them. ALREADY. Impressive, yes? And it just started! Like, seconds ago! For one, I have a fair grasp of grammar. Usually. It’s been scientifically proven that the more spelling/grammatical errors you read in a blog, the less you enjoy it, and the more you want to torture small animals. Look it up. I’ll wait. So right off the jump I’m ahead of the game, right? Right. And just to get it out there before we get too far into our relationship, if you start reading all my posts to nitpick little grammatical errors and call me out on them in the comments section, you’re missing the point.
Also, and more importantly, ISD is heading into the studio next week to record a life-altering bulldozersaurus of an album. It will change things. Like gravity. And your favorite color. And the official currency of Ukraine. (it’s the Hryvnia. For now, anyway. Save your googles, children).
I plan on writing a daily blog from the studio for those of you interested in what goes into recording a super-ambitious concept album. I’ll also answer questions if there are any actual people who give a shit and want to ask them. I’m assuming the extent of my readership will be the guys in the band, a few of my friends and my wife. But hey, it’s a start. Shut up.
Back to the studio. This album, if all goes how I think it might, will be everything you want in a prog masterpiece. The potential is at once horrifying and thrilling. We’re planning on putting all the ingredients in there. The gentle pull of the story arc, the epic musical grandiosity that makes the hair on your arms stand up, the unbridled fury of impossibly heavy grooves, the musical leaps and zig-zags that keep you enthralled throughout, the beautiful, simple lines, that are so heart-rending they make you weep like a bitch.
So, like the man said, hang onto your shit.
I leave you for now, so we can take some time and try to absorb what our pending relationship means. In a legal sense. Hopefully you’ll come back here for the studio updates and we’ll have some fun. Maybe a few pops, the proverbial ginger ale, what have you. You know. I’m saying we’ll get drunk. In a purely digital, virtual sense. Except me. I’ll really be drinking.